Stay right here

My journal entry November 11, 2000  3:00 am

I was checking my emails and reading news in the internet, wrote a facebook status "tweet" and then had my dinner as i get to bed said a prayer before closing my eyes. 

And then just the moment i was about to close my eyes, I suddenly started to miss some of my friends in laos, I miss their company and started to wish I am there but after that I found myself praying for them (my friends, students, follow-ups, "disciples", housemates and church) and I felt like God is telling me that He misses me too more than anything else. He wants to spend more time with me.

God is calling me to worship saying " i miss my worshiper" and I realized that's just who I am. The way I am created. and it is when I feel alive the most and Its during worship time that I feel I'm closest to Him.

Oh the lord's presence. I can't help myself but cry right now. Miss times like this, when I am in Lord's presence. How astonishing it is to feel his love right here in my heart, where I at this moment , in his embrace , I'm amazed of his Grace , his holiness, great and amazing love for me, his forgiveness, his greatness, He is my light , my life, there is no one else like Him.

I am ruined. I want to stay right here forever. Can I just be at this moment for a long time?

I know He IS always There For Me. 

I am nothing without You God. Please take all of me. Help me trust you more. I want to be closer to you.
Lord you are my purpose. Oh Lord You are my light.

Life is not worth living without you. Help me share this love, this great and indescribable love to others.

I love you God. There is no one above you.

But 
I know I cannot just stay right here. 
I mustn't just stay.

He wants me to go.
You want me to go out and share this love to others. 
Go out and reach out to others.
Even if you don't, I would still want to do it because I know it's your heart.Those who don't know you, haven't heard of you.


I am reminded, It is my 10th year of being a disciple of Christ.

God you are good and your love endures forever